A new life
by nestcaskett
Summary: Castle and Beckett begin their new married life. They will face new adventures together, even be parents?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Today is the big day. Kate still can't believe it. She feels like it was just yesterday when she decided to leave the job in Washington and come back to New York to be with Castle.

Beckett and Richard have been preparing the wedding with the help of Martha and Alexis for two months. They were two months full of stress, but everything ended up being perfect. They both wanted a simple wedding, and that's what they're getting. The ceremony will take place in the garden of their Hampton's house.

Kate's looking at Castle welcoming the guests from the window of their room. She can't help to smile when she looks at him. He_ is_ ruggedly handsome! And she still can't believe she's getting married to him._ We deserve it after all we've been through together_, she thinks. The voice of her father snaps her out of her thoughts.

-Katie, it's time. Are you ready?

-Yes dad, I'm ready- she says looking at herself in the mirror one last time.

-You're gorgeous- Kate's wearing a simple elegant white dress with diamond motives that match with her tiara. -I wish your mother could see you- he says looking at her daughter proudly.

Kate takes his arm in hers and they leave the room. They stop at the door that goes to the garden and when the music that announces her starts, they go through the door. She starts walking down the aisle not even looking at the guests. Her eyes are set on Castle as he looks back at her in awe. Jim gives her a kiss on the forehead and leaves her at Rick's side.

-You look beautiful- he whispers in her ear.

The ceremony goes by smoothly. They both wait anxiously for the moment in which they're finally married.

-I declare you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride- the priest finally announces looking at Castle.

Castle takes Kate by the waist and brings her close to him. He kisses her while the guests stand up and cheer.

-I love you- says Kate in tears of joy.

-I love you too- Castle wipes her tears.

The guests go inside of the house while the garden in being prepped for the party. Everyone congratulate the newlyweds. The first ones to do so are Esposito, Lanie, Ryan and Jenny.

-Richard- calls his mother. -There's someone who wants to see you and Katherine.

-Who? - He asks wondering about all the mystery.

-Go upstairs and you'll figure it out. He's waiting for you in your room.

Castle takes Kate's hand and they go upstairs together. When they get to the room, they find a man who Castle recognizes immediately.

-Dad? - Kate's taken aback by that word. He had told her that he had met him in Paris when he went to rescue Alexis. She thought she'd never get the chance to meet her father-in-law.

-Hello Richard- he hugs his son.

-I'm glad to see you again. Especially today.

-Me too. Hey, won't you introduce me to your wife? - He says gesturing towards Kate.

-Of course. Dad, this is Kate and Kate, this is my father.

-It's a pleasure to meet you- she says shaking his hand.

-The pleasure's all mine.

The three keep talking until Castle's father has to leave. They say goodbye and go back to the party.

The afternoon goes by smoothly, and Jim, Martha, Javi, and Kevin all give beautiful speeches. Before moving on to the dance, Castle gets up to give his speech:

-Somebody once said that for love to be real, it has to be hard. Hearing this phrase, I've come to a conclusion: our love is as real as can be- he says looking at Kate- because few have been through as much as we have. My whole life I've been writing made up stories, but today, I start writing a real one with someone I'm madly in love with. Kate I love you, and I thank you for enduring me these last six years and for wanting to keep doing so for the rest of our lives.

Kate gets up when he finishes and kisses him. Hearing him talk about their love, she decides she'll do so too:

-A friend of mine told me not to prioritize my job over love life, because I would regret it. I'm thankful I listened, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here today. Before you came into my life- she says looking at Castle- I wasn't having any fun and when you appeared you made my job and my life more interesting. These last years working with you have been incredible. And Rick, I should be the one thanking you. Thank you for always being here, for having my back, and for reminding me who I am, and most importantly, for helping me solve my mother's case and finally, after all these years, getting some closure. I love you.

The newlyweds have the first dance and after that they're joined by the other guests. The big moment of the night was given by Esposito who sang for them. At 3 am, Castle and Beckett leave the party to rest, given that tomorrow they'll be flying to Jamaica. After that, the guests slowly start to leave.

In their room, Castle and Beckett enjoy the night. A night of passion and celebration that goes on between kisses caresses and "I love you" s. That was another one of the moments they couldn't wait to enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kate wakes up to the sound of the waves. She opens her eyes and sees an open door and the delicate curtains dancing in the breeze. She feels the contact between her skin and the silk sheets. She's tightly hugging the pillow Castle slept on. She breathes in his scent. She feels like she's dreaming, but her doubts melt away the moment he enters the room. She's not dreaming, she's in paradise and she's with him.

-Hey, good morning- he greets her with a smile.

-Mmm, good morning- she moans happily.

-How did Mrs. Castle sleep tonight? - He sits down beside her ad starts kissing her back. Kate isn't changing her last name, but he likes calling her that.

-Wonderfully- she turns around to kiss him.

-What do you want to do today? – He takes the hair out of her face.

-Nothing. I just want to lay here with you all morning long…- she takes him down to lay with her and starts kissing him again.

-All right, but the evening plans are on me- he pouts.

That evening, they decide to go down to one of the places with the most history there. The atmosphere is fun and heady. It's livened up with Bob Marley music for the most part. It doesn't take long for Castle and Beckett to get carried away by their surroundings with the help of some shots of tequila. In between dancing, kisses, and shots the evening goes by quickly. When they realize it's over 4 in the morning, they decide to head back to the hotel. On the way back, Beckett walks to a beach and stares at the ocean.

-It's beautiful, Castle.

-What I'm looking at is even more so- Kate turns to face him and realizes he's talking about her. She blushes. This man will never stop surprising her. – Come on, let's go back to the hotel.

They spend the next days trapped in their room because of a tropical storm. The hours go by slowly and they get bored, until Castle remembers the deck of cards that he always keeps in his luggage.

-Hey Kate, do you want to play Strip Poker? – He shows her the cards. Kate bites her lower lip and looks at him seductively.

After five games, Beckett has only lost her shirt and her pants, while Castle is left with nothing.

- I think it's obvious who won- she looks at him amused.

-We can't leave it like this.

-Don't worry, we won't. It's either the both of us, or neither- before Castle can react, she's all over him.

All that's good has to end. After two weeks in paradise, they have to get back to reality. New York's waiting for them. But they don't leave sad, because they know that someday, they'll be back.


	3. Chapter 3

**A New Life Ch 3**

*1 year later*

Kate gets back to the loft after a hard day at work. Castle has already made dinner. Like every night. She kisses him and helps him set the table. Today they're having dinner alone, Martha has left with her theater class and Alexis is with Pi. Castle wants this to be an intimate dinner because he wants to talk to her about something really important.

When they got married, they decided that they were to no longer work together. Now that they live in the same place, Castle now has his muse at home and has no reason to go to the precinct. Besides, when Beckett comes home, it gives them something to talk about. Sometimes, Kate lets him go with them to the arrests.

During dinner, Kate is lost in thought. She's been like that for a couple of days now. There's something she can't stop thinking about. She's not sure whether to talk about it with Castle or not. Finally, she decides to talk to him after dinner.

Everything has been cleaned and put back in its place. It's time to talk. They're on the couch sitting in front of each other.

-Kate, there something I want to talk to you about. You see, I…- she interrupts him.

-I also have something to tell you. Can I go first?

-Yeah sure, I'm listening.

-I've been thinking. We've been together for two years now, and this year we have been married has been amazing, but I think we're ready to take the next step, well, at least I am.

-Take the next step? Kate, what do you mean? - He smiles.

-Rick, I want us to have a baby- Castle looks at her surprised. –Oh, God, did I scare you? Do you not want to have another kid?

-No, no, it's not that- he gets closer to her and takes her hands in his. – It's just that I… I wanted to talk to you about the same thing.

-Really?

-Yeah, but I was afraid to bring it up because I didn't want to pressure you or seem too impatient- they both laugh. –So, do we start trying?

-Yeah.

The next morning Kate wakes up at the sound of her cell phone. It's a text from Esposito; they know where the suspect is hiding. She puts one of Castle's t-shirts on before she gets up, takes some clean clothes and goes into the bathroom.

Inside of the bathroom, she remembers the conversation they had last night, she looks at herself in the mirror and without thinking about it, her hands go to her stomach.

-You'll be beautiful- Castle's voice takes her out of her reverie.

-What?

-When you're pregnant, you're going to be beautiful- he hugs her from behind and kisses her.

-Hey, we know where the suspect is and we're going to get him. You coming? - Without breaking the embrace, she turns to face him.

-Yeah, sure.

An hour later, Castle and Beckett get to the abandoned building where Ryan and Esposito are waiting for them. Javi explains the situation to Beckett.

-Alright guys, you cover the back, Castle and I will cover the other side.

The building is deserted and almost in ruins. Only the homeless stay there at night. Kate was completely concentrated and her senses were sharp. There is an almost absolute silence, except for their footsteps and some water dripping. A loud bang makes her stop on her tracks; it was the sound of a gun going off. She turns around slowly and sees the suspect pointing the gun at Castle.

-Drop the gun! - yells Beckett getting into shooting position.

-No! You drop it or I blow his head off!

Castle takes advantage of the distraction and he hits him on the nose with his elbow. Beckett runs to knock him down and cuff him, but the man is faster and punches her, which sends her to the ground. Castle realizes the guy still has his gun on his hand, so he tries to take it away from him. Beckett watches this go down from the ground. She hears a shot. Castle falls. The suspect drops the gun and runs away from them.

-CASTLE! – Yells Beckett while running to him.

The shot was at point blank and the bullet went through the bulletproof vest. Beckett takes it off carefully. He's bleeding a lot, but he's still conscious. Kate puts pressure on the wound to avoid any more blood loss.

-Come on Rick, hang on. Don't close your eyes- the tears start welling up in her eyes. –Come on! Don't die, please. Don't leave me, not now.

Castle closes his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**A New Life Ch 4**

-HELP! GUYS! Rick, stay with me. Don't die. Don't do this to me- she tries to hold herself together but a few tears manage to escape.

-Beckett! – Ryan gets there with Esposito. It doesn't take Javi even 5 seconds to get his cellphone out and call 911. Kevin kneels by Castle's side to take his pulse.

-Please Ryan, tell me he has a pulse- she looks at him with her hands still putting pressure on the wound.

-He does, but it's barely there- Kate lowers her head relieved. There's still hope.

-They're on their way- Javi kneels beside them. –Kate, what happened?

-I'm not sure. It all… It all happened so fast- she says between sobs.

Ten minutes later the ambulance gets there. The EMTs try to take Beckett away from Castle, but she resists. She doesn't want to leave his side. They take him on the ambulance quickly.

-I'm sorry, but you can go with us- one of the EMTs tells Beckett.

-What?! He's my husband! I have to go with him!

-I'm sorry, but you can't. You'll have to take a car and follow us.

-Come on Beckett, we'll take you.

The ambulance runs quickly to the nearest hospital. Inside, the EMTs do everything they can to keep Castle alive. Right behind it follows Beckett's car. Esposito is driving given that Kate is too shaken up. On the way, she decides to call Martha.

-Martha, it's Kate… There's been an accident… Yes, yes, I'm okay. It's Rick… He's been shot… Hey Martha, we'll meet at the hospital. I'll tell you everything there. I have to go.

When they get to the hospital, everything is perfectly coordinated: they take Castle off the ambulance, the EMTs hand the gurney to the surgeons, who take him straight to the OR. Kate, not quite knowing what was going on follows them until a nurse stops her.

-You can't go through. You'll have to wait here. When the surgery's done, the doctor will come out and explain you everything.

Esposito and Ryan stay with Beckett. They don't want to leave her alone. She doesn't stop pacing around the room and mumbling stuff under her breath. This situation is painfully familiar to the three of them. A few minutes later Martha and Alexis arrive.

-Kate! – Yells Alexis. –My father? Where is he?

-Katherine, how's my son?

-He's alright. He's in surgery- she says. She's calmer now that they're here.

-And how are you holding up, darling? – She asks with her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

-Okay. I'm better now- she says with a small smile.

-Have you called your father?

-No, I'll go call him.

-No, you stay here. I'll call him.

Martha goes outside the hospital to call Jim. Now that Beckett has someone with her, Javi and Kevin leave to pursue the investigation. Kate stays with Alexis.

-Don't worry Kate. My father is strong. He won't die. He has a lot to live for- Alexis sits by her side and hugs her.

-I know- Kate is still surprised by how wise this 19-yeor-old girl is.

After three hours of waiting in the hospital, the surgeon gets out of the OR and goes towards them. He has a serious expression on his face, which makes Kate think the worse. _He's dead, and he's coming to tell us, _she can't help but think.

-Get to the point doctor, how is he? – Martha speaks holding her hands together and praying that her son still be alive.

-He's alright- the surgeon says after he sighs. The three women show a happiness that won't last for long. –We took the bullet out and he's stable, but there are still risks.

-What do you mean? – Kate manages to say.

-I've been informed that on the way here, Mr. Castle had a heart attack, and during surgery, he had another one. We brought him back both times.

-I don't understand- says Martha.

-These episodes could've caused brain damage, given that for a few seconds, the brain was deprived of oxygen.

-What kind of brain damage? –Asks Kate.

-We don't know that yet. We'll have to wait for Mr. Castle to wake up.

-Can we go see him? –Alexis asks. The surgeon nods.

When they get into the room, a shiver runs through the three women's bodies. It's impossible not being overwhelmed by seeing him lying there and connected to all those tubes. The first one to approach him is Kate, who takes his right hand and gives him a kiss on the forehead. Martha hears Kate whisper something into Castle's ear.

During the night, only one of them can stay. Martha and Alexis agree that Kate should be the one staying with him. Martha will take over in the morning.

-Good night darling. Try to get some sleep- Martha gives Kate a kiss on the head before leaving.

Kate gets a chair to the side of the bed and lays her head and arms on the edge of the bed to try to get some rest. She's not planning on leaving his side until he wakes up. _In sickness and in health, _are the last words Kate says before she falls asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate wakes up startled and covered in cold sweat after having a nightmare. She gets up to make sure Castle's alright and gives him a small kiss on the lips. She keeps her forehead against his and whispers a weak "_good morning love."_ A feminine voice gets her attention.

-Good morning Katherine, how did you sleep?

-Hello Martha. Well… It wasn't very comfortable- she gestures towards the arm chair- but I slept enough.

-But you didn't rest enough. Now that I'm here you can go home, take a shower and sleep in a bed.

-I…

-Don't worry, if something happens I'll call you.

-No, Martha, I don't want to leave. Rick needs me and I don't plan to move from his side.

The actress won't insist any more. She knows Kate and knows that she won't be able to change her mind. She's stubborn, just like her son. She shudders when she sees the look Kate gives to her son. She's happy that Richard has someone like Kate by her side. She takes one of the chairs and sits by her side.

-Katherine, I want to talk with you- she takes her hands. –I couldn't help but hear what you told Richard yesterday. What did you mean by saying that he couldn't leave now? Is something wrong?

Kate takes her hands from Martha and covers her face as she starts crying when she remembers why she said that.

-Katherine doesn't cry- she wipes the tears from the younger woman's face. –Don't tell me, I don't mean to meddle.

-No Martha, it's nothing. I can tell you- she says calmer. –We were going to tell you sooner or later. You see, the night before the accident Rick and I talked about us, about our future.

-Are you having trouble?

-No, no it's not that. We're better than ever- she holds herself together to not let the tears flow.

-Come on kid, spill.

-That night… that night we talked about becoming parents and we decided that it was time; we decided to start our own family. But now… now this happens- she can't stop the tears and starts crying again.

-Oh darling, I'm so sorry- she takes her in her arms, visibly also touched. –You can't keep crying, you hear me? What happened to Richard doesn't mean that you won't be able to have a family. He'll get better and you'll have a wonderful baby boy.

-Or girl- they both laugh, but it doesn't last long for Kate. –How about what the doctor said? About the heart attacks that could've caused brain damage.

Martha doesn't know how to answer that question. She doesn't want to think about that. She looks over at her son to find the right words.

-He wasn't completely sure. He said that in some cases there are damages and in others there aren't- she gets up and takes her son's right hand. –Let's hope that Richard didn't suffer any damage.

Silence settles between the two women. Kate observes the affection Martha gives Rick and wishes to someday share that kind of affection with their children. After that, she observes Castle, unmoving on the bed. The only thing she wishes in that moment is for him to wake up so they can go on with their lives. The silence starts getting uncomfortable until Martha speaks.

-I'm going to get coffee, do you want some?

-Yes, please.

Beckett gets up from her armchair and starts pacing the room to stretch her legs. They're stiff from having been sitting there all night. She continues by stretching her neck and arms.

-Hello Beckett.

-Alexis, hi.

-Is Gram here?

-She went to get some coffee. She'll be back soon.

-How is he doing? – She gestures to her father.

-The same.

They're both staring at the bed when Martha arrives.

-Alexis darling, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?

-Yeah, I'm on break. I just wanted to check if everything was okay.

They talk for a while, until a moan calls their attention. It's Castle. He's waking up. They rush over to his side.

-Where am I? - He says with his eyes closed.

-Castle honey, you're in the hospital- she holds his hand.

-Honey? – He quickly opens his eyes surprised by the word and stares at Kate. –Do I know you?


	6. Chapter 6

A New Life Ch 6

It's raining. The doctor has been in the room for a while with the neurologist. Martha and Kate are waiting outside. Alexis had to get back to class so she left. Kate's standing by one of the windows and observing he rain, thoughtful, holding her mother's ring. In her mind, all she can hear is Castle saying: _Do I know you?_ It was like feeling, for a second time, a bullet going through your chest. _He cannot have forgotten me. A love like ours can't be forgotten. _It's the other thing that comes to her mind. She wipes her tears before turning around.

Martha is also standing. She can't stop pacing, crestfallen, from one side to the other, impatient to get answers from the doctor. From time to time, she looks over to Kate and gives her a small smile.

Minutes feel like hours. Neither of them dares to speak. The silence is only broken by the calm steps of the doctors and nurses. Between these, arrive some that are faster.

-Katie, sweetheart.

-Dad! – She runs to hug her father.

-I'm sorry, I wasn't able to come sooner. What happened?

-He got shot, dad.

-But, how? – He breaks the embrace to see her daughter in the eye.

-He came with me to an arrest… I… lost focus… the suspect got him… and… and everything just got out of hand- she manages to say between sobs.

-And, how is he?

-He's alright. The doctors are with him right now. He woke up a couple of minutes ago, but…- Martha answers.

-He forgot about me, dad! He doesn't remember me!

Jim looks over to Martha for confirmation. She nods.

-Come on, Katie. I'm sure he forgot about other stuff too.

He sits by her daughter's side and grabs her shoulders to reassure her. Martha sits on her other side. The next five minutes go by slowly. Finally, the two doctors get out of the room. Jim is the first one that notices them and then Martha and Kate get up quickly.

-How is he, doctor? - Kate asks.

-Regarding the wound, I can tell you that it's healing well. As to Mr. Castle's mental status, Dr. Collins is going to be the one following up. I'll leave you with him- he leaves.

Martha, Jim and Kate look expectantly at the new doctor waiting for him to talk.

-I'm Doctor Collins, neurologist- he extends his hand to greet them. –I'm going to follow up on Mr. Castle's case and his amnesia until he's discharged.

-Amnesia? – Kate asks.

-Yes. I'm sorry to say that your husband doesn't remember anything prior to being shot. Actually you were lucky, in these cases, with two heart attacks, the damage is usually much greater.

-And, what should we do? – Martha asks. –I mean, how should we act in this situation?

-First we'll go in and introduce ourselves. Then we'll give him a couple of minutes to take it in, alright?

The three of them nod and follow the doctor into the room. Once inside, Dr. Collins introduces them.

-Mr. Castle, I would like to introduce you to some people. Jim and Kate Beckett, and Martha Rodgers.

-Those two were here when I woke up- he points to Martha and Kate. –Should I know them?

-Yes- he gestures so they start presenting themselves. The first one to do so is Martha.

-Richard, I'm your mother.

The next one should be Kate, but she gives her turn to her father. From the moment she got into the room she has been with her head down, she doesn't feel strong enough to look into his eyes and see that he doesn't recognize her.

-I'm Kate's father, your father-in-law.

-My father-in-law? Then she…

Hearing this, Kate looks up and takes a couple of steps toward him.

-Rick I…- she shows him the ring on her hand. –I'm your wife.

Castle looks at his own hand and sees that he has the same ring.


	7. Chapter 7

**A New Life Ch 7**

*2 weeks later*

Today, Castle's being discharged from the hospital. In the last two weeks the wound has healed and it's not necessary anymore for him to stay there. What has also gotten better has been his relationship with Kate, Martha and Alexis. He doesn't feel like a stranger with them anymore.

Today he got up and started walking around the room. Martha stayed with him while Kate went to the loft to get some clean clothes for Castle. Richard takes advantage of this to talk to his mother alone.

-Kate doesn't seem to be very bothered by my amnesia.

Martha takes her eyes away from the magazine she was looking at, closes it and lays it down at her side. She sighs before speaking.

-You couldn't be more mistaken, darling. Katherine doesn't show her feelings much, but she's the one that has suffered the most in this situation. Imagine how she feels, the man she loves- she points at him- doesn't remember her or the moments you have been through together. She's a strong woman and she's handling this as best as she can.

-Really? – Martha nods. –Well, she hides it well. I like Kate, she's helping me a lot and it pains me to think that I'm hurting her.

-Oh, Richard, don't do that, don't torture yourself. –She gets up and goes to his side. –You know what helps with this? Talking. Talk to her.

In that moment, Kate comes in holding a black sports bag and she puts it on one of the chairs.

-I didn't know what to bring you, -she says taking the clothes out of the bag and putting them on the bed. –so I settled for these pants and this shirt.

-That shirt's nice. I like that shade of blue.

Kate smiles at Castle's reaction looking at, without him knowing, her favorite shirt.

-It goes nicely with your eyes.

They stare at each other for a while until Castle lowers his gaze.

-I'm going to change. I can't wait to get these hospital clothes off.

-Wait – she turns towards the bag and takes out something else. –Here, your shoes.

Castle takes them and goes to the bathroom. Kate and Martha sit together on the side of the bed and wait for him to come out.

Dr. Collins gets into the room.

-Hello. I've got Mr. Castle's discharge papers that you have to sign- he tells Kate.

-I've got so many things on my mind that I forgot I had to sing those- she gets up and sings the papers hastily.

-I also wanted to give you this card – he takes it out of his lab coat and gives it to her. –It's got the information of a psychologist that can help Mr. Castle with his amnesia.

-It won't be necessary – she gives it back. –I already know of someone.

Dr. Collins dismisses himself and leaves the two women. Then, Castle comes out of the bathroom with the new clothes on.

-Ready to go?

It takes a moment for Kate to react. Seeing Castle wearing _the _blue shirt, after so long, has left her speechless.

They finish gathering his stuff and they leave.

In the car, Castle is acting like a kid that has just arrived to a new city, looking out the window and fascinated by the amount of cars, people and buildings. On the way back, they decide to go over the writer's life.

-Do you remember everything we told you about, well, you? - Beckett asks him.

-Yes, I remember everything. We went through it plenty of times in the hospital.

Today is the first day since the incident that Martha has class, so Kate drops her off on a corner near the school.

An uncomfortable silence settles between Castle and Beckett. They're alone in the car, and they don't know what to say. A couple of minutes later, they reach their destination. Beckett finds a parking space just in front of the building.

-Hello Mr. Castle, Miss – the doorman greets them.

-Hello Frank – Beckett says.

In the elevator, before the doors open, the bell that announces they've reached their floor rings.

-Do you want to open the door? – Beckett hands him the keys.

-Sure.

Castle is struck by how big and nice the loft is.

-That's how I felt when I came in for the first time –she says with a smile.

-It's not at all how I imagined it.

After a quick tour of the loft they decide to have some dinner. While they eat, Castle takes interest in his mother's school and they continue talking about unimportant stuff.

After dinner, the conversation continues lively with two cups of wine. They both start laughing, but Castle stops when he hears Beckett's laughter and vice versa. They stare at each other for a couple of minutes. Beckett feels the electricity that runs through both of them and wonders if he feels it too. The first one to drop his gaze is Castle, that's the answer to her question.

-I need to change my bandages before going to bed –he gets up and walks to the bedroom.

Beckett is left alone on that big room. She feels more alone than ever. She closes her eyes and a tear rolls down her cheek. She wipes it away, leaves the cup in the kitchen and follows him into the bedroom, impatient for a new day to start.


	8. Chapter 8

They barely slept that night. The swirling thought in their heads didn't let them. It was a completely different night from the ones Beckett's used to having. She's used to holding him close, whereas tonight there's a gap between them, as if he were a stranger.

When Castle wakes up, he finds her side empty. _She probably went to work, _he thinks. He stays a few minutes sitting on the bed thinking about what he's going to do with his morning. _She probably left me a note with the stuff I have to do. _So he decides to get up and get dressed to get started. He goes into the bathroom and when he opens the door he finds Kate there, and she's naked from the waist up.

-Oh, sorry – he lowers his head, embarrassed. –I thought you'd left.

Kate's fast and when he got in, she immediately covered herself with her bra and turned away from him.

-It's okay Castle – she puts the bra on and turns to face him again. –Nothing you haven't seen before.

Castle can't help lifting his gaze and throw her a sideways glance. He's surprised when his eyes don't focus on her breasts, but on a small round scar in her cleavage. He's intrigued wondering how she got it. Beckett comes out of the bathroom and grabs a shirt from the closet.

-Get dressed. I'll make breakfast – Beckett finishes getting ready.

A few minutes later, Castle walks out of the room, all dressed and having trouble with the buttons on the shirt's right cuff. Beckett is standing placing breakfast on the table when she notices Castle's struggle and decides to help him.

-Let me – she takes his hand and fastens the buttons. Their hands touch slightly. Something lights inside of them. It's the first time there's been real physical contact between the two since Castle woke up.

Beckett runs her hand over the writer's remembering that handshake that meant much more than just a handshake.

-Kate – Castle whispers. Beckett lifts her gaze to find those perfect blue eyes. –Breakfast is going to get cold.

Castle retrieves his hand from hers, sits down at the table and starts eating. Beckett stands there paralyzed. Those words felt like a bomb, like a bucket of cold water. _What do I do now? _She asks to herself. _The only thing I can do, sit down, have breakfast and act like nothing happened,_ she answers.

-Hey, about the bathroom thing, really, I'm sorry. I should've made sure you weren't there.

-It's okay, Castle. Don't worry about it.

-Right, and something else. I couldn't help seeing the scar – he gestures to his chest. -Were you shot?

-Yeah – she answers bluntly. She gets up, picks her glass and plate up and leaves them in the sink as her mind starts flooding with the memories.

-You're done already?

-Yeah, I'm not hungry anymore.

Beckett's phone starts ringing, it's the precinct.

-Beckett. Yeah, I'm on my way – she hangs up.

-A murder?

-No, I've got to go to the precinct deal with something. Do you mind staying alone?

-No, but what can I do in the meantime?

-Umm I don't know – she closes her eyes to try to think straight. –You have pictures and videos on your laptop. The doctor said that could help you remember.

-Alright.

-Bye – Beckett grabs her coat and leaves, not giving Castle time to say goodbye.

_**Precinct**_

Ryan called Beckett to tell het they caught the guy who shot Castle.

It hasn't even been thirty minutes but Beckett's already there. She goes over to observation room one, where Ryan and Esposito are waiting for her.

-Hey guys.

-Hey – the detectives answer in unison. Looking at Beckett's serious expression, they decide not to ask her about Castle.

-How did you find him?

-His ex-girlfriend tipped us – answers Esposito.

-His alibi is solid, so he's not our killer, but he had almost four pounds of drugs on when we got him. We have him on possession of drugs, threatening an officer and shooting Castle. He's got two to five years in prison – Ryan adds.

-Good job guys.

They get out of the room, the two detectives go over to their respective desks and Beckett walks over to Captain Gate's office.

-Sir, can I speak with you?

-Yes detective, come in. How are you holding up?

-It's not easy.

-I'm very sorry. Well, what do you want to talk to me about?

-You see, sir, I wanted to know if…

Ryan interrupts her knocking on the door.

-Beckett, we have another murder.

-Oh. We can talk when you come back – Gates puts her glasses back on and gets back to business.

This will keep her all morning, so she decides to call Castle to tell him she'll be late.

When she gets to the place, Beckett is thankful this is a typical crime scene; white male with several GSWs to the chest. She doesn't feel mentally fit for one her usual freaky cases.

Everybody knows what they have to do. Everything is perfectly coordinated. Beckett and Ryan are canvassing to know if anybody saw something and Esposito is trying to contact the family and looking for security cameras that could've caught something.

Beckett and Castle are always the ones who talk to the family and tell them the bad news, but this time she's alone. This is the part of the job that she hates. When Castle was with her, it was easier, but now… It's only harder.

When she gets back to the precinct, it's already noon. Captain Gates is in her office. It's time to finish what she started.

-Sir?

-Come in, Beckett, what did you want to talk about this morning?

-I wanted to know if I could get a leave for a month. Castle just got out of the hospital; he's still a little disoriented and I…

-You don't need to explain detective. I'll give you a month, and if you need more time don't hesitate to ask.

-Thank you, sir.

Before leaving, Beckett says goodbye to Ryan and Esposito and takes some stuff from her desk.

Peak hour is the worst time to drive through New York. She's at a complete stop for over 15 minutes because of a jam. Before getting to the loft, she decides to stop at their usual Chinese restaurant to get some food to go.

When she opens the door she finds Castle on the couch reading a book.

-Hey. Sorry it took so long.

-It's okay. Is that Chinese?

While they eat, Beckett explains what kept her at work and is glad to see Castle hasn't lost his interest in crime-solving and asks her about the case. The conversation is not too long, because she doesn't really have much to tell, but she knows what else they can talk about.

-I thought you'd be on your computer.

-Yeah, I was going to do that, but it has a password and obviously I can't remember – he takes his finger to his temple. –So I decided to read one of my books.

-That's good. Which one did you pick?

-Heat Wave.

_Silence._

-What do you think? – she clears her throat.

-It's actually really interesting. I can't believe I wrote it.

Beckett thinks about everything that happened around that book and the rest of the Heat series. _Change the subject if you don't want to start crying again, _she thinks to herself.

-If you want to, we could try to figure out the password later.

-How about we do that tomorrow? I would like to finish the book today – he answers with his gaze fixed on his plate. Beckett nods begrudgingly.

The afternoon goes by quietly. Beckett decides to take a nap while Castle is absorbed in the book. Later, Alexis and Martha pay them a visit. Kate's thankful for finally being able to have a normal conversation with someone.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Even though she doesn't have to go to work, Kate still gets up early to organize hers and Castle's new life. The awkwardness of the incident in the bathroom made her realize that, for the moment, it's better if they don't sleep together, so Kate has moved to what used to be Martha's room.

The loft is lit by the subtle light of the rising sun, which gives the attic an orange tone. The air is filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee. Kate is sitting on the table that's by the kitchen, with a mug between her hands and her attention on the newspaper, until Castle's voice snaps her out of her thoughts.

-Kate, could you help me with something?

When she lifts her gaze, she sees Castle standing in the middle of the living room with a huge bloodstain in his shirt. Her mind automatically goes back to the shooting. She shakes her head to clear her mins and hurries towards him.

-Castle, what happened? – she lifts his shirt to look at the wound.

-It must have opened up while I was sleeping – he scrunches his face up in pain.

-Take off your shirt and lay down on the couch, I'll go get the first-aid kit.

Before coming back into the living room, Kate stops for a second, closes her eyes and tries to slow her heart rate down. None of this prevents her heart from jumping when she sees him sitting there shirtless. She repeats the calming ritual before kneeling in front of him to take care of the wound.

In that position, a ray of light falls upon Kate's face. Castle is amazed, he's never seen her as beautiful as she looks now. It's almost unnatural how bright everything about her is.

Her skin, her hair, her eyes… She looks like a goddess, I can't take my eyes off of her, he thinks.

-Do you know you have gorgeous eyes? – he brings himself to say.

Kate looks at him surprised, she wasn't expecting that. She can't manage to say anything so she limits herself to smiling and lowering her head so that he can't see her blush. He doesn't take his gaze away from her eyes.

-I'll change the bandages.

-Ah!

-Sorry, did I hurt you?

-No, your hands are cold.

-Sorry – she chuckles.

-Here.

Castle takes Kate's hands between his and starts stroking them to become warmer. Kate feels the temperature in the room rising, well, it's not the room, it's her body. She feels that spark that runs between them when they touch once again, but this time it's different, this time it's mutual. Kate can see in Castle's eyes that he's feeling it too, and it's running all though his body. Her whole being screams at her to get all over him and kiss him. She suddenly feels the need to feel his lips on her, his naked torso and above all that, the erection that is starting to form, of which he seems oblivious. In that moment, they hear someone knocking on the door, but neither wants to break the moment. Kate is the first one to snap out of it when she hears Martha's voice.

-I've better get that, otherwise she's going to take the door down – she gives him a smile before getting up, which he mirrors.

On the way to the door, Kate goes over what just happened in her head, and even though she liked it, she decides it can't happen again. The only thing she'll get with scenes like that is an even more confused Castle. Before opening the door, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to try to slow her heart down and cool off a bit.

-Hey Martha – she steps aside for the older woman to come in.

-Hello darling – as soon as she steps in, she sees her son's mishap. –Oh, Richard! What happened?

-Relax mother. The wound just opened, it's nothing serious.

Kate kneels in front of him again to continue working on the wound as they share a knowing look.

-Martha, do you want some coffee or anything? – Kate asks when she's done.

-No, thank you. I won't stay long. I just came by to give you this – she hands Beckett an album. –I remembered the doctor said that it would be good for him to see some pictures.

When Kate opens it and looks at the first pictures she can't help but laugh.

-Oh, this is great!

-Right? – she says with a big smile. –I'll leave it here so that you can continue looking at it. I have to go. I have class and don't want to be late. Ciao.

-What is it? – Castle asks as soon as his mother leaves.

-They're pictures, from when you were young – she sits by his side.

Laughing, minutes fly by as they look at the photos. Kate thinks that it would be so much more fun if Martha were there telling them the story behind each picture. The one that she likes the most has a 5 year old Rick and Martha dressed as 19th century couple.

-Wait – he tells Kate before she turns the page. –That picture.

-What, you remember?

-No.

-Then? – she says impatient to know the reason of his reaction.

Castle shifts in the sofa so that he's facing her. Kate does the same.

-When I was in the coma I had a dream, in which I was in the park, in some swings, playing with a little boy – Kate chokes up. –And looking at this picture I realized that the boy looks a lot like me when I was a child.

Kate suddenly leaps to her feet. Could all that be true? How about the swings? Could they be their swings? And that boy? Could he be…? It doesn't matter how hard she tries, she can't keep the tears at bay.

-Kate, why are you crying? – you can hear the worry in his voice and see it in his face. It's a stupid question. He already knows why she's crying. The dream means something. He wants to ask her what it means exactly but he knows he probably shouldn't. She'll tell him when she's ready.

-I need a minute – she climbs up the stairs and after a few moments he hears a door close.

Inside the room, Kate can't stop pacing. She keeps asking herself if that boy could be… she doesn't even dare think it. She doesn't want to get her hopes up, but she needs to know more. She wants to know the color of his eyes, of his hair, his smile, if he seemed happy and plenty of other things.

After she goes over it in her mind for a while, she decides to talk to Castle. She has to know. Before going back downstairs she freshens up in the bathroom to try to hide the fact that she's been crying.

-Castle, wanna go for a walk?

-Umm yeah, sure – he says finding her proposal a bit odd, and also wondering what her reaction was all about.

Kate walks fast. Castle is hot on her heels. He doesn't get why they're in such a rush, and realizes that this is more than likely not just a simple walk. Kate is taking him somewhere. She wants to show him something. After a while, Beckett stops and stares at a fixed point in the distance.

-Do you recognize those?

-Those are… Those are the swings from my dream.

Beckett gives him a smile and keeps walking towards the swings before she sits on one of them. Castle does the same.

-For them to be in my dreams, these must be pretty special to me.

-To both of us – he looks at her expectantly. –Here, I asked you to give me some time to have the kind of relationship I wanted to have, here I realized that I couldn't keep it to myself anymore, that I had to tell you how I felt and here – she smiles at the memory – you asked me to marry you.

-I proposed here? – Beckett nods. –I like it. There's no better place to propose than in somewhere that is special for both people. Hey, what about the boy?

-The night before you got shot we talked about having a baby and we decided it was the right time.

-You mean that the boy in my dream is our future son? Kind of like a premonitory dream?

-I don't know Castle. I like to think so.

-You know, I think so too. The picture is really clear and I can say with no doubt that he kinda looks like you too.

-Really?

-Yeah. His lips, his smile and his hair color were like yours – they look at each other for a few seconds. –But it's better not to get our hopes up, only time will tell.

-You're right.

-How about we go back to the loft and we try to figure out what the password in my computer is – he gets up and offers a hand to Beckett. Kate hesitates for a moment but then accepts his invitation to go back to the apartment hand-in-hand.

-I think that's a great idea.


End file.
